When I originally saw this video I thought, “That’s cute. Some black metal guys clowning around between sets.” But no…this is infinitely more wonderful.

The video is by black metal group The Black Satans, for their song Satan of Hell.

A heroic YouTuber changed the music to Yakety Sax. The result is sublime.

Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough
— Lit Pimp Queen

Seven Deadly Sins (updated): PWN’D, NOM, FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU, WANT, WANT, WANT, and meh.
— sween

“You’re not the person I fell in love with!” is a fun thing to say to anyone who isn’t the person you fell in love with.
— sixthformpoet

A good way to make a car dealer uncomfortable is to say, “Tell me if you can hear this,” and then get in the trunk and start screaming.
— rolldiggity

I make sure people who claim they don’t have time for my nonsense remember they weren’t doing much when I found them so actually, they do.
— JTQuest

Roses are black
Violets are white
I’m a dog
— UNTRESOR

SCIENCE FACT: Your throat hurts when you’re sick because your white blood cells have brought out tiny swords and are dueling with the germs.
— MaraWritesStuff

It’s weird how after they couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together the King’s men were like “Let’s give the horses a shot at it”
— mikeleffingwell

I’m not a cyber-bully but I did change my WiFi network name to “I CAN SEE WHAT YOU ARE GOOGLING STEVE”. Sleep well neighbor. Sleep well.
— PaulGibson1963

Yesterday: Used poor grammar on multiple occasions.
Today: Hiding from grammar zombies in the attic.
Tomorrow: IMMMPROPER TENSSSSSSSSSSE.
— sween

I’m feeling silly today, so I’m going to resurrect a feature from the old SF site I used to maintain. Each month we posted a screen grab from a cheesy movie and invited readers to write their own captions. One of my favorites was this shot from Dark City:

For which Shadow Jack submitted this:

As Freddy stumped wearily through the door after another fruitless day of job-searching, Jennifer couldn’t help wondering, once again, what her life might have been like if only she had married the Goblin King instead.

Get the idea? Want to play along? Submit your own caption in the comments!

If you fall in the forest and there’s nobody around to hear it, then what just pushed you? You aren’t alone in the forest. Run, if you can.
— WstonesOxfordSt

I get the feeling Helena Bonham Carter travels by bursting into a thousand crows when she doesn’t feel like walking.
— SamGrittner

endless breadsticks. bottomless fries. yawning abyss of onion rings. HOWLING DESOLATE CHASM OF POTATO SKINS
— nice_mustard

Joseph’s head broke off my Nativity figurine. Gave me a nice feel for what the Bible as written by George RR Martin would be like.
— Aimee_B_Loved

Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Give a man a radioactive fish that bites, HE BECOMES FISHMAN!
— sucittaM

I like how the kids in E.T. keep pedaling the whole time they’re on the flying bikes. Just in case.
— KenJennings

Home is where the heart is. We found it one day in the sink. It hums things late at night, but they are not songs.
— NightValeRadio

Damn gurl stop undressing me with ur eyes haha wait no stop ARGGHHHHH HOW THE HELL ARE YOU DOING THAT WITH YOUR EYEBALLS HELP OH GOD HELP
— Fred_Delicious

I bet owls love Sympathy for the Devil.
— thesulk

It’s probably good Mythbusters isn’t literal. “Could Zeus *really* have impregnated Leda in the form of a swan? Adam’s gonna try!”
— sween

(That was the BoingBoing headline for this; it’s actually a remote-controlled toy helicopter, but that doesn’t sound as funny.)

Anyway.

“Corporate Comedian” and prankster Tom Mabe uses a flying Grim Reaper to swoop down on unsuspecting passersby and scare the everliving hell out of them. It’s the sort of thing that’s hilarious happening to somebody else and would definitely make you want to punch the perpetrator if it happened to you.

There’s also a “behind the scenes” video:

When they discovered she was pregnant, Brandon Pitts and his wife made this clever video to announce the news to friends and family. I love the twist ending.

The Insidious Bogleech recently asked why so much science fiction treats humans as the boring, weak, dumb ones.

I want to see a sci fi universe where we’re actually considered one of the more hideous and terrifying species.

How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn’t be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare “animal” races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth?

Like that old story “they’re made of meat,” only we’re scarier.

Tom Scott took that idea and ran with it, producing this educational safety video for alien interstellar travelers:

(via Neatorama)

As terrifying as being attacked by a mugger would be, it’s not often that you get an excuse to try to blind someone
— bridger_w

Next time your kid won’t eat carrots, scream: “Snowmen had to DIE for this meal!”
— AaronFullerton

“It’s A Wonderful Life” would be WAY darker if when George sees life without him, there’s 30 kids alive in town who had died mysteriously.
— rolldiggity

3-year-old: Let’s play zombies
Me: OK
3: You’re the dad zombie, I’m the mom zombie & this is the baby
She tricked me into playing house
— XplodingUnicorn

Heads will roll. Torsos will kind of roll. Limbs will roll a short distance. Jawbones just kind of hit the ground & flip once.
— NightValeRadio

The worst thing about losing your glasses is having to drive to work with your head out of the window, beeping like a bat.
— ChribHibble

The worst thing about the 1978 Lord of the Rings cartoon is how they plan to destroy the ring by melting it in fondue.
— KenJennings

My daughter’s fortune cookie was empty and now we’re all sitting around waiting for her to die.
— scottsimpson

For me, “You can’t please everyone” isn’t a lament or an excuse. It’s a mission statement.
— kierongillen

‘Better than Laurie Strode’ probably isn’t the best way to market my skills as a babysitter.
— gordonshumway

at this point we should declare Waldo legally dead and move on with our lives
— lawblob

I bet anyone who’s had to fight a bear has snuck at least one hug in
— nachosarah

Why do people try to trick babies into thinking airplanes are delicious?
— lafix

every year you pass your birthday and know that you were born that day but every year you pass your death day and have no clue
— iphone420s

fact: you eat 28 spiders in your lifetime. always 28. if you are about to die and you have only eaten 3 then 25 spiders arrive at once
— egg_dog

You can’t get blood from a turnip. You need blood? I can totally get you some blood. Set the turnip down and follow me to the blood.
— NightValeRadio

I’ll know we’ve reached a new era of equality when my daughter is afraid of the boogiewoman under her bed.
— juliussharpe

Siri do Duckburg nativity scenes have an egg in the middle?
— wonderella

As a mortician, I always tie the shoelaces together of the dead. Cause if there is ever a zombie apocalypse, it will be hilarious.
— CalebWilde

A fun way to meet new people is to stand on the edge of a public bridge, shaking a baby stroller upside down over the side.
— rolldiggity

I hope Franken Claus brings you everything you wish for!

(via Bizarro)

Bonus link: Surviving the World makes some excellent points.