This A Bit of Fry and Laurie sketch is awesome for a number of reasons, not least because you’ll spend the entire time mentally urging Hugh Laurie to blink.

(Hat tip to pdq)

In this splendid short film by Paul Constantakis, a child’s evil action figures get their comeuppance.

(via Laughing Squid)

Stéphane Bouley has re-cast Monty Python and the Holy Grail as a modern blockbuster in this recut trailer.

This is an interesting example of the breed; usually when movies are “reimagined” in another genre, it isn’t difficult to envision the movie actually done in that style (a couple of my favorites are Scary Mary and Shining). Here, though, the inherent goofiness shows through, no matter how much dramatic music is thrown behind it.

Here’s a compilation of some of the most ridiculous death scenes of all time. NSFW-ish in spots.

(via Blame It On the Voices)

Quick! What’s that behind you?? Haha sorry. Just a prank. Made you look! It’s actually rushing at you from the side.
— NightValeRadio

A good reality show would be if we woke up all our coma patients in the ruins of a hospital in an abandoned city.
— rolldiggity

Spiders crawl into sleeping people’s mouths. People are too busy to go to the dentist. This is when I introduce my new idea: Dentist spiders
— bridger_w

Science fiction movies, why do you think any one-syllable word can be a street drug. Blip. Crust. Ham. Stork. Greg.
— KenJennings

sometimes i cry when i chop vegetables other than onions, just so the onions don’t think they’re ugly or something
— Hella_Rad

If you pull a lizard’s tail off, it will grow back. If you pull it off again, the lizard will be like “dude.”
— briangaar

I’ve woken up looking like the imaginary friend of a particularly disturbed child.
— sixthformpoet

Pretty unfair that sharks get a whole week and vampires only get a weekend.
— KevinFarzad

A ghost walks into a bar. The bartender says “I feel cold.” The ghost lingers for years. The bartender grows despondent, lost.
— NightValeRadio

“Hi?” -First cow being milked
— rolldiggity

The other day I was telling Shadow Jack about some of the accounts I follow on Twitter. I mentioned that one of them was Warren Ellis, and he asked why I followed him. Because here is an example of a typical Ellis tweet:

Good morning, fluorescent sex weasels of the internet. It’s a new day, and fresh victims are everywhere.

How could you not follow that?

It appears that I am not alone in my appreciation of his turn of phrase, in that Six-Sided Space Ninja has created a site that will randomly generate phrases based on his Twitter greetings.

They sound very authentic.

This is old, but Shadowboy recently discovered it and has been playing incessantly at me, so I’m going to share it with you. It’s somewhat more geeky than gothy, but it does have Neil Gaiman.

Olga Nunes and Elaine Doyle were so inspired by this xkcd comic that they set it to music, and they managed to talk a bunch of famous geeks into singing along. Neil Gaiman, Wil Wheaton, Cory Doctorow (in cape and goggles), Patrick & Teresa Nielsen Hayden, and loads of others are featured.

(And to get even more meta, the reason Cory Doctorow is wearing a cape and goggles is because of this cartoon. It is an immutable law of the universe that whatever the subject, there is an xkcd cartoon that’s relevant.)

See Olga’s site for the whole list.

And now try to get that song out of your head.

This clip from The IT Crowd features recovering goth Richmond (Noel Fielding)’s new business venture. Seems like a viable idea.

IDEA: rental ghosts to create “cold spots” in houses during heat waves.
— KenJennings

I’m a morning person. Then, around noon, I turn into a horse.
— mikeleffingwell

spiders are just wee furry eight-leggedy things; think of them as two kittens taped together and you’ll be fine
— Friend of xJane’s seen via FB

Literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don’t even know it.
— weinerdog4life

PREQUEL: “Goddamned Mohicans Everywhere.”
— MiahSaint

did you know? goths have 50 different words for despair
— IamEnidColeslaw

a baby’s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear, unless it’s 3 am and you’re home alone and you don’t have a baby.
— iphone420s

You never hear about a new ghost. “Oh yeah, this place is haunted since Jeff died last Tuesday.”
— juliussharpe

the movie “se7en” but each murder is based on a different dwarf
— twice_mustard

SEX TIP: keep track of multiple orgasms in the voice of The Count from Sesame Street.
— KenJennings

These have been around for a while but I’d successfully managed to ignore them until Shadowboy discovered them last week and played a bunch of them at me.

Epic Rap Battles of History pits famous historical and pop culture figures against each other in “rap battle” format. They are deeply surreal, featuring matchups like Hitler vs. Darth Vader, Rasputin vs. Stalin, and Genghis Khan vs. the Easter Bunny.

Here’s Gandalf vs. Dumbledore:

The whole series is available on ERB’s YouTube channel.