The Art of Darkness

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April 27th, 2010 by Cobwebs

I bet the hardest part of being a sushi chef is cutting the heads off mermaids.
badbanana

I’m not trying to point the finger of blame at Hogwarts but what the fuck were the wizards doing 1939 through to 1945?
stubarb1

I went to donate blood today, but they said they didn’t want it in a Ziploc baggie, and also it had to be mine.
shariv67

I’m pretty sure that the best laid plans of mice and men involve cheese and lube.
crustyjuggler72

We’ve all been talking about your paranoia.
aedison

With all of these location-based social networking services, you’d be crazy not to try a little serial killing.
badbanana

The one trick pony is the laziest of all the animal prostitutes.
J_Ethan

Some parents count to 10 to get their kids to behave. I use a similar technique where I string out crime scene tape and fire up a chainsaw.
MrBigFists

Vampires drink blood. Human blood, specifically. They don’t get to just drink animal blood, go on their hunky dory way without any type of drawback and then make idiotic jokes about being “vegetarians.” Vampires stay out of the sunlight lest they burst into flames. They certainly do not sparkle as though somebody blasted them with a shotgun full of rhinestones. Those are called pixies. And as for vampire baseball… fuck you, Meyer.
Topless Robot, commenting on Twilight vamps

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