The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

January 4th, 2011 by Cobwebs

When adults tell kids “You’ll understand when you’re older,” it means “you’ll understand not to ask.”
donni

Phantom cellphone vibrations are your dead ancestors calling you.
YUCKYBOT

If it looks like a duck & quacks like a duck, it’s a murderer, disguised as a duck.
robdelaney

If you spell it “grammer”, you don’t get to correct it.
MeetingBoy

Sleep tight! And if you should die before you wake — did you clear your browser history?
thomaslennon

I like to imagine that braille on random public signs often says: “How did you know this was here?”
kellyoxford

The post office should have a theme song and it should be played by Slayer.
AinsleyofAttack

Why is it always hair loss & incontinence? Why can’t playing the oboe or the power to summon eagles be side effects? Looking at you, Pfizer.
derekasaurus

People who say “If I disappeared, no one would notice” are wrong. Anyone who actually saw you vanish would be pretty freaked out.
capricecrane

There is porn in Hell, but it’s skeleton porn :(
serafinowicz

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