The reason Latin is a dead language is because they kept accidentally summoning demons during regular conversations
— iscoff

Witches have black cats because if they had white cats they would have white cat hair all over their clothes.
— rShowerThoughts

What if death gives you lemons?
— drhappyknuckles

Persephone is the goddess of flowers and is adorable and smart and she probably only wears pastels and at the same time she’s the queen of hell and if that’s not life goals I don’t know what is
— romanovtrash

I wonder if Medusa uses one big pillow or a whole bunch of little ones.
— sween

If wishes were horses, there’d never again be uncertainty over whether or not someone blew out all his birthday candles with a single breath
— EmoPhilips

[phone sex with a psychic] “Tell me what I’m wearing.”
— Tommytoughstuff

So disappointed in science journalism for writing about “zombie bees” while ignoring The World’s Most Obvious Portmanteau
— wonderella

Surely all exorcisms are non-consensual. Unless you have a really lonely demon who just wants to go home.
— neilhimself

[walking by Goth kids dressed in black]
3-year-old: I can see them.
Me: I can, too.
3: They’re bad ninjas.
— XplodingUnicorn

underthenerdhood:

peterdrabbit:

underthenerdhood:
a little girl who grows up thinking all doors are automatic but actually she’s haunted by a really polite ghost

So chivalry IS dead?!

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