Just a quick reminder that the deadline to sign up for the Secret Santa Can Suck It pretend gift exchange is Wednesday. If you’d like to participate (it’s free! No actual gifts are involved), leave a comment over on that post. Or right here. I’m easy.

Carrie – Clever “Carrie at the prom” costume. The accompanying comment thread is here.

Witchy Cupcakes – Cute idea for DIY cupcake toppers.

Vintage Button Cuff Bracelet – Easy idea for using up that stash of pretty buttons.

Spider Loafers – Cute way to glam up fabric loafers with spider stencils.

Dork Tower – I think I like the lyrics better this way.

Haunted Mansion Cosplay – Splendid “alligator tightrope girl” costume.

Immortality Helmet – Gorgeous steampunky sculpture/mask.

Three Fantastic Halloween Music Compilations – Recommendations from Wil Wheaton.

X-ray Tights – Nike has a new line of performance tights digitally printed with X-ray images.

Sailing to the Moon – This is 100% goth-free but delightful nonetheless.

This site is ridiculously NSFW and is likely to permanently scar small children and housepets. Proceed with appropriate caution.

Pornaments is pretty much exactly what the name would lead you to expect: A whole collection of whimsically-pornographic Christmas ornaments, just in case you feel like your tree isn’t complete without a teddy bear in assless chaps or some elves doing it doggie-style. They’re weirdly cute.

The ornaments are all the “Old World”-style silvered-glass-and-glitter that are often found in kitschy shapes,* which somehow makes them rather charming. Although some are blatantly non-family-safe, there are a number of them that are more stylized and won’t automatically give your in-laws apoplexy. (I do, however, think that the best use of these would be to quietly sneak one on to said in-laws’ tree and see how long it takes someone to notice.)

Anyway, if you’re looking for something really unique to add to the tree or use as a particularly-arresting gift topper, this is the place to look.

*Speaking of that, Merck does a whole line of Halloween-themed ornaments in that style.

Over on DesignSponge, blogger Kate Benbow relates a conversation with her small son about the source of mysterious noises in their house: Instead of mice, her son was convinced it was the Tooth Fairy.

Later that week, I found two inexpensive dollhouse doors and did a spot of secret crafting. Harry came down to breakfast the other morning and was astonished to discover the actual front door used by the tooth fairy, Santa’s elves and…well, who knows who else lives behind the door? We know for sure that someone lives there because they get mail and milk deliveries and are fond of leaving their boots outside the door when it rains.

She includes a simple tutorial for making doors of one’s own, plus suggestions for miniature accessories like mail and tiny flowerpots.

The “Santa’s elves” bit made me realize that with the holidays approaching this is a perfect time to surprise a child with the installation of a temporary “elf door” to let Santa’s helpers come and go as they please. Last weekend such an elf door appeared in Shadowboy’s bedroom. It was easy: Dollhouse accessories are widely available; I ordered the door, doorknob, knocker, and welcome mat online, and used some leftover housepaint to paint the door white. I had intended to further embellish the door with acrylic paint: Maybe candy-stripe it or hand-paint some holly or paint the inset panels red and green. After several false starts I realized I suck at painting and went back to white. These are Minimalist Elves.

Once the paint was dry, I used superglue to attach the doorknob and knocker. I put double-stick tape on the back of the frame (be sure to use tape rather than the thicker mounting foam, since the latter will leave a slight gap) and stuck it to the wall after Shadowboy went to sleep. The stepladder was a last-minute addition: Since there’s baseboard on all of the walls* I had intended to stick the door to the side of a bookcase–the tape is furniture-safe–but decided that it looked odd. I finally stuck it above the baseboard and filched a ladder from a set of Shadowboy’s Lincoln Logs. (Incidentally, the doorknob came with a ridiculously teensy little key; it’s hidden under the mat.) A bit closer to Christmas I may add a wreath to simulate elfin activity.

This kind of door could also be a longer-term decorative element, and could even be accessorized differently as the seasons change. And, of course, children aren’t the only ones who might enjoy a fairy door; I’m tempted to install one in my office to let the computer bugs come and go.

*It probably says something about my usual level of gung-hoedness, project-wise, that when my husband found me building the door he asked warily if I was planning to cut a piece out of the baseboard to let it sit flush with the wall. I honestly have no idea what he’d have done if I’d said yes.

(No prizes, but if you can answer them all without googling you get bragging rights.)

1. “Red Water (Christmas Mourning)” is a song by what gothic metal band?
2. The “caganer,” a guy with his pants down defecating on the ground, is a popular addition to Nativity scenes in what country?
   A) Serbia
   B) Spain
   C) Slovenia
   D) Germany
   E) Estonia
3. What was the name of Ebenezer Scrooge’s first employer?
4. Who wrote “A Visit From Saint Nicholas” (aka “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas”)?
   A) Gerard Manley Hopkins
   B) Charlotte Mew
   C) Clement Clarke Moore
   D) Coventry Patmore
   E) Stephen Crane
5. In Nightmare Before Christmas, what are the three trick-or-treaters who kidnap Santa named?
6. In Die Hard (which takes place at Christmas so it totally fits this category shut up) Hans Gruber’s right-hand-man Karl was played by Alexander Godunov. What was Godunov’s main career?
   A) NFL running back
   B) Ice skater
   C) Politician
   D) Newscaster
   E) Ballet dancer
7. The animated special How the Grinch Stole Christmas! was narrated by this well-known horror actor (who also voiced the Grinch).
8. The carol “In the Bleak Midwinter” is based on a poem by whom?
   A) Christina Rossetti
   B) Alfred, Lord Tennyson
   C) Algernon Charles Swinburne
   D) Elizabeth Barrett Browning
   E) Rudyard Kipling
9. In Gremlins, Randall Peltzer discovers a small, furry creature in an antique store in Chinatown whilst searching for a Christmas present for his teenage son. What is this creature, which his son names Gizmo, called?
10. The “modern” version of Santa Claus as a jolly, portly, bearded fellow was created by what cartoonist in 1863?
    A) Charles Keene
    B) James Gillray
    C) John Leech
    D) Thomas Nast
    E) John Tenniel

(Answers below the fold)

Read the rest of this entry »

We’ve been doing this virtual fake gift swap for a while now, and darned if we aren’t going to do it again.

It’s easy (and free!) to participate: Between now and December 10, leave a comment on this post or email me saying that you want to be part of the swap. On the 12th I’ll tell you who your assigned “giftee” is, and some time before December 21 you post a picture on your blog of what you would have gotten that person if you had money and, y’know, cared.

Your “gift” can be as silly or serious as you like, and since you probably won’t know the recipient, feel free to make up whatever story you want about why the gift is appropriate. (If you don’t have a blog, you can arrange to have your gift posted here.)

On December 24 I’ll post a list of everybody’s entries so we can all marvel at each other’s good taste. It’s a silly, fun way to take a short break from general holiday craziness, plus we can all discover new blogs we might not otherwise find. The more people who participate the more entertaining the gift list will be, so put your inner Scrooge in a corner and join in!

(Image Credit)

DIY Creepy Vintage Photos – Photoshop tutorial for superimposing skulls on vintage photographs.

Googly Eye Ornament – Easy tutorial for making eyeball-covered ornaments, just in case you like the idea of your Christmas tree staring at you.

Cthulhu Mittens – Free knitting pattern.

Tentacle Corset – This is tagged as “Ursula” cosplay, but it looks more like octopus-meets-steampunk to me.

Horror Movies for Your Pets – Truth.

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka’s Halloween – Some upscale party-food ideas that are sort of elegantly disgusting. (via Halloween Addict)

Gingerbread Haunted Mansion – Includes a downloadable template if you feel ambitious enough to DIY.

Spider Computer Mouse – USB mouse with a real spider embedded inside.

Harry Potter Wedding – Elegant HP theme.

Voodoo Doll Prank – This is the kind of non-harmful practical joke I can get behind.

This is a nicely set-up prank, but Brazil must have some very relaxed liability laws.

(My personal take, incidentally: The “ghost” glances over at the victims a lot. It seems to me that it’d be scarier if she did nothing but stare straight ahead, seemingly unaware of their presence, until she turned and screamed.)

(via Blame It On The Voices)

I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti, and a future archaeologist will have one awesome day at work.
— JiminyKicksIt

If you do an image search for “Coughing”, you get photos of people performing fellatio on ghosts.
— Cameo Wood (Hat tip to LimeyFish)

i saw an ad on craigslist once that said “free firewood, u collect it” so i wrote the guy and said “bud you just wrote an ad for the woods”
— fart

I finally learned how to teach my guys to ID the passive voice. If you can insert “by zombies” after the verb, you have passive voice.
— johnsonr

Tampon/pad packaging and advertising is such a wasted opportunity. It’s all flower pink shit, when you could instead feature a bunch of explosions and heavy metal music and slogans along the lines of “CAN YOU BLEED FOR DAYS AT A TIME AND NOT DIE? THEN USE METALBADASSBLOODTEX PADS/TAMPONS, ‘CAUSE THEY’RE AS MUTHERFUCKING HARDCORE AS YOU ARE.”
— lord-kitschener

I bet every recipe for disaster has raisins in it.
— AlshonFubawu

Please, God, never hand me a baby anywhere near a basketball hoop
— longwall26

I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.
— GrumpyyCat

dammit owls you KNOW who this is
— donni

In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man doesn’t really have to wear clothes ever.
— KenJennings

Here’s a perfect thing to carry for Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day or any time you want to add a bit of steampunky veracity to a time-traveler costume.

A couple of years ago absinthetic–whose splendid Wonderland Expedition Kit I’ve mentioned previously–dressed as a 19th-Century time traveler for Halloween and built the “Chronotheric Fluxing Capacitron” to use as a prop. He’s got a photoset up on Flickr, and while it doesn’t give any detailed instructions there are enough different angles that it should be possible to put together something similar. He listed the materials in a post on the Brass Goggles forum:

The clock case was just that; a cheap plastic clock I got at a yard sale for $1. I removed all the guts (except for the handsome clock face).

The backing of the “backboard” is just some leather/vinyl material I had leftover after making some curtains for my bedroom.

The “time dial” is a gold (well, fake gold) napkin holder, with the glass face of a broken pocket watch and a “time circle” graph that I created in Adobe Illustrator.

The thingy in the center is just a doorknob, another yard sale find.

The “lightning” is an EL cable I acquired at an electronics store. Originally I wanted to use a chasing LED circuit, but I couldn’t find any chasing circuits in time that would fit what I needed, so the EL cable (usually used for bicycles or other things you would want to illuminate at night) was used as a substitute.

The “glass tubes” came from a $1 plastic ‘parade baton’ that you’d get for a little kid…I emptied out all the glittery stuff from the inside and cut the tubes to size. The metal caps are just some capping devices from the electrical section at Home Depot.

Otherwise, everything else was just glued down with Gorilla Glue. The EL cable cost about $20, but the rest of it cost me less than $10 for everything (yay yard sales!)

This is a great use of repurposed objects and the results are splendid. It would be a fun project to build up over time as you found appropriate bits at thrift stores and yard sales.