The Art of Darkness

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November 25th, 2009 by Cobwebs

Monopoly is to the contemporary board gamer as garlic-infused kryptonite snakes are to Super Vampire Indiana Jones.
Lore Sjoberg

I’m starting a band that only plays polka songs about Nostradamus’s predictions. We’ll call ourselves Accordion to Prophecy.

Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
— Demetri Martin

The worst thing about being a vampire: people thinking I have fake teeth I won from skee ball, when I’m clearly an oversized sunglasses guy.

You know what really gets my goat? Chupacabras.

If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands! I thought we should make this funeral more of a celebration. Who knows the macarena?

Liquor is like water that puts out.

Canadian Kanye West: IMMA LET YOU FINISH! No. Really. Go on.

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