The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

July 6th, 2010 by Cobwebs

The road to hell is not paved with good intentions but marshmallow fluff, and the damned are made to wear Crocs as they walk it.

For those about to rock: Why are you prepping to rock? There’s no planning involved in rocking! Dear god IS THAT A SPREADSHEET??

Back off, or I’ll use this butterfly to start a chain reaction leading to a terrifying alternate future.

“Are monsters real, daddy?” “Like on TV?” “Yeah.” “Totally. George Bush, Dick Cheney, Tony Hayward… all real. Now, go to sleep, dear.”

Instead of Little Caesar’s I go to Little Caligula’s. The pizza is the same, but it’s served to you on top of a naked 16-year-old boy.

Sometimes I like to scream “Am I not merciful?” when I hand money to homeless people.

When there’s a full moon, the everywherewolf is always right behind you! However, don’t mind the shampire; he does not exist.

Twilight’s like soccer. They run around for 2 hours, nobody scores, and its billion fans insist you just don’t understand.

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