Be the strange you want to see in the world.
— clarkekant

What’s really scary about guys with cobwebs tattooed on their elbows is that you don’t know where the spider is.
— AinsleyofAttack

The worst thing about getting cooties is having to contact all your old freeze tag partners
— FilthyRichmond

My new favorite thing to do at work is slip a kid $20 while his parents aren’t looking and quietly whisper: “This is from your real father.”
— wheatnik

I wouldn’t be so scared of spiders if they were wearing tiny shoes.
— Just_Alison

I think it would be a shame if Bruce Willis doesn’t have “He was dead the whole time” written on his tombstone.
— NickadooLA

“YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME?” – A very annoying leper.
— BDGarp

I bet Michael J. Fox is just shaking his head at this new Teen Wolf.
— thesulk

“Glenn, don’t put me in any more songs.” — Glenn Danzig’s mother
— juliussharpe

Next time you see someone with freckles, try not to picture a tentacle erupting out of each one.
— sween