The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

May 6th, 2015 by Cobwebs

Maybe bats leave Hell in a slow and orderly fashion.

me: all our teeth fall out as children and then they all grow back stronger
alien: okay, i mean…that definitely sounds fake, but…okay.

When it’s my time, I just want to go in a way that leaves my Wikipedia entry a “Death and Aftermath” section.

An all-cat Ghostbusters reboot that’s just 90 minutes of them staring intently and occasionally meowing at a blank wall.

Game of Thrones gets a lot less dramatic when you remind yourself Lannisters, Starks, and Greyjoys alike all have to shit in fancy buckets.

In Australia it was called The Passion of the Crikey.

Why would you not name your pet shark Jump?

I think that the moment right before you die, you hear your mother calling you inside as the streetlights flicker on

Actually, I’m leasing a stairway to heaven.
I also craft artisinal bustles, specifically for hedgerows, which have the quality of not alarming passers-by.

i’ve figured out that horror games with grotesque monsters and spooky environments are -9000 scary if you pretend you’re steve irwin on a mission to document the monster(s)
“Lookie there. That’s a six-foot grunt from the basement. A-hm gonna wrassle it.”

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