The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

October 14th, 2015 by Cobwebs

I once murdered a man by pushing him into a comic book store and yelling, “He thinks Darth Vader would beat Batman.”
JRehling

Bit of an oversell, “dragonflies.”
jordan_stratton

“Oh, no. No, no, no. Are you kidding me?” -First thing I would say if someone raised me from the dead
bridger_w

If you go out for American food in Mexico does a grunge band come up and loudly play at your table?
TheCatWhisprer

How did people first figure out that it was cicadas that make this noise? I could see that taking a long time.
Were there just like a thousand years where people were like “yeah, the trees are screaming. They do that in the summer.”
curiosityconfusion

My doctor says that one day I will be able to eat baba ghanoush without singing “Baba ghanoush (snap snap)” to the Addams Family theme.
KenJennings

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me ten times, congrats! You filled the punch-card! This shame is on the house!
msgwenl

Everyone SAYS they want a fairytale wedding but when I show up and curse their firstborn suddenly I’m the jerk.
slackmistress

Books are just dead, tattooed trees.
captainschmitty

Helena Bonham Carter eats eight spiders a day. Not in her sleep, just whenever.
Bob_Janke

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