Spent the last 2 hours whispering “here comes the tickle monster!” to the people that were bench pressing weights at the gym.
— iamyourguy

So many funeral prank possibilities if you outlive your identical twin.
— KenJennings

I’d watch the shit out of a reality show that’s a search for the most pretentious vegan.
— imaliwaller

I didn’t hover round the business end [of my wife’s C-section]. I’m not a fan of innards. What if you go mad and lean forward and dunk a biscuit in them or something?
— Charlie Booker, discussing his child’s recent birth

I always sleep on a sack of knives in case a pillow fight breaks out.
— badbanana

I’m the only one who knows this is a murder mystery dinner
— meganamram

Sometimes when I use tampons I like to pretend that my vagina is knitting a little scarf.
— AinsleyofAttack

The only relationship advice I have for the young ladies out there is this: Find yourself a goofy bastard. Trust me on this.
— Aimee_B_Loved

I wish parents would watch their kids better because my basement is filling up.
— nachosarah

If asked on TV what I’d do if I won $540 mil I wouldn’t say “Quit my job.” I’d look at the camera and say “Society will know soon enough”
— fmarciuliano

(No prizes, but if you can answer them all without googling you get bragging rights.)

1. This prolific SF writer gave us such works as More Than Human and Venus Plus X (not to mention an important literary Law), but also wrote Some of Your Blood, a nicely horrific vampire novel.
   A) Theodore Sturgeon
   B) Robert Silverberg
   C) Harry Harrison
   D) Hal Clement
   E) Larry Niven
2. This Gothic novella by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu tells the story of Laura, a girl who is victimized by a female vampire who seems to periodically shapeshift into a cat.
3. In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “William the Bloody” is better known as whom?
4. During the same vacation in which Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein, Byron began a vampire story but never finished it. His physician (who had also been on the retreat) eventually wrote a work entitled “The Vampyre” based on Byron’s story. Name him.
   A) Gabriele Rossetti
   B) Matthew Lewis
   C) George Tighe
   D) Leigh Hunt
   E) John Polidori
5. In the Marvel Comics universe, detective Hannibal King was turned into one of the undead by the same vampire who killed Blade’s mother. What was his name?
6. In the Russian short story “Family of the Vourdalak,” a family awaits the return of their patriarch, whose tardiness may mean he has become a vampire. Who wrote this influential story?
   A) Nikolai Gogol
   B) Aleksey Tolstoy
   C) Ivan Turgenev
   D) Alexander Pushkin
   E) Peter Kropotkin
7. The TV series Forever Knight followed the adventures of Nick Knight, an 800-year-old vampire working as a cop in Toronto. It starred Geraint Wyn Davies as Knight, but its pilot was originally shot starring what 80s rocker as the title character?
8. In the novel Dracula Jonathan Harker travels to the Count’s remote castle, located in which range of mountains?
   A) Sahyadri
   B) Karawanken
   C) Trollheimen
   D) Carpathian
   E) Rhodope
9. Born Theodosia Goodman in Cincinnati, Ohio, this silent movie starlet was nicknamed “The Vamp” (short for vampire). Her stage name was an anagram for “Arab Death.”
10. This author’s “Dracula sequence” of novels, beginning with The Dracula Tape, had the Count interacting with literary characters such as Sherlock Holmes. The series was so successful that he was hired to write the novelization of the movie Bram Stoker’s Dracula.
    A) William Tenn
    B) James Blish
    C) Fred Saberhagen
    D) Leigh Brackett
    E) Jack Vance

(Answers below the fold)

Read the rest of this entry »

I peddle a few Accoutrements products (their retail arm is Archie McPhee) in the shop, so I receive alerts when they make new products available. Their new Jinx Removing Spray (“magically formulated to allegedly remove jinxes, nullify hexes, and dispel curses”) is a cute idea, but: 1) All of the interesting design work is on the package rather than the atomizer, and 2) Shelling out eight bucks for what amounts to air freshener seems a bit silly.

Sounds like a DIY project to me!

The type of atomizer they use is called a “shell atomizer,” and they’re widely available online in a variety of sizes and colors. Nemat and Best Bottles sell them individually, and also offer wholesale pricing if you want to make a lot as gifts or wedding favors.

For the spray itself, you can choose your favorite perfume, design your own fragrance (just google “how to make perfume” for a hojillion tutorials, such as this one), or make a simple air freshener by mixing 1 C distilled water, 2 tsp of rubbing alcohol, and 8-10 drops of your favorite essential oil; shake thoroughly to combine.

A label can be as simple as a printed sticker, or you can go nuts with hand-painting or even silk-screening. If you’re artistically-inclined you can design your own label, look for traditional patterns like Voodoo Veves, or mine the artwork of places like Lucky Mojo for inspiration.

If intended as a gift, add a tag with instructions to spray at the first hint of jinxiness and tie with a bit of ribbon or twine. Since the atomizers are reusable you can also offer free refills for the heavily jinxed. Easy, unusual, and cheap. What could be better?

Cauldron Caramel Apple – These “witches’ cauldron” caramel apples look entirely too much like work, but they’re undeniably dramatic.

41 Examples of Insane Fingernail Art – Some nice Halloween-ish designs, including Slimer.

First Look: Anthony Hopkins as Alfred Hitchcock – Hopkins is starring in a biopic of Hitchcock, to be released next year. Not a bad likeness.

Fantasy-Themed B&B – Belgian bed and breakfast with a different theme for each room, including Baba Yaga’s hut and a troll’s den.

Naked Mole Rat Cam – Because who doesn’t want to watch Naked Mole Rats frolicking in their tunnels? (There’s a tarantula cam over here if you’d rather.)

The Top 10 Most Annoying Post-Apocalypses – A roundup.

Horror Vacui – Photographs depicting elderly versions of various 80’s movie villains.

Bedside, Bathtub & Armchair Companion to Dracula – Interesting-looking compendium of facts and trivia.

6 Inanimate Objects That Killed People in Movies – Oh lawsey, lawsey, lawsey.

A whole buncha goth lifestyle sites:
GIY: Goth It Yourself
Domesticated
Gothic Decor (Yahoo Group)
Coffin Kitsch
Le Professeur Gothique
BatLady (Yahoo Group)

Like to play with makeup? Check out MakeupBee.*

MakeupBee was created to celebrate makeup artistry, it is the community for sharing looks and discovering beauty products. Get inspired from looks created by makeup enthusiasts just like you and learn how to recreate them. Read reviews and recommendations from your favorite fellow makeup lovers around the world.

Members can post their “looks” and browse others’ ideas. There’s all sorts of inspiration, such as black glitter eye makeup, silvery lipstick, and leopard nail polish. The products used to create the effects are listed, and the members frequently link to more detailed tutorials on their blogs or YouTube channels. They also note their skin and hair coloration, skin type, and other useful information for those interested in re-creating their looks.

The site also features product reviews, and has sponsored competitions (which are interesting, but somewhat vague; the current one is “Sparkle for Prom,” and some entries are nail polish-only, some are just eyeshadow, and a few are a full makeover. I have no idea how they’d judge something like that).

If you’re looking for beauty inspiration, there are all kinds of interesting ideas here.

(Hat tip to Jessica)

*Link goes to an internal page rather than the index because the main page features an obnoxious popup insisting that you sign in or register before continuing. Boo, hiss. You don’t have to do either to just browse.

One of the things I love most about the Internet Age is the opportunities for cultural cross-pollination, which is how you wind up with a ceramicist in Thailand specializing in Dia de Los Muertos skulls.

Muddyskull offers a variety of marveous cake toppers, salt-and-pepper shakers, and jewelry which look like Jerry Garcia blew up all over them. The artist does custom designs on request, and also sells unpainted blanks if you’d rather decorate your own. The Muddyskull site is primarily a showcase of her work; you can purchase them through Artfire or via the related gOOdiemud site, which also has non-skully items available (the dogs and humans are unremarkable, but the owls are pretty darn baroque).

Although she apologizes for her imperfect grasp of English, the artist’s enthusiasm definitely shines through. I love her wonderfully over-the-top decorative excesses, and for handmade items they’re really quite affordable.

There’s a concept known as Poe’s Law which posits that, unless you state specifically that you’re kidding, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that someone won’t mistake for the real thing. I think that idea should be expanded beyond religious fundamentalism, because I’m still not sure whether the Stop Alien Abductions site is serious or not.

It provides detailed instructions on making a “thought screen helmet,” suitable for blocking the alien mind rays generally preferred by extraterrestrials when they’re abducting you. There are also many helpful tips for getting the most out of your helmet.

3. Make the helmet quickly.

You may experience telepathic resistance from the aliens when you try to make the hat. Expect it. You must make the hat as quickly as possible so you are not overcome by them.

Here’s a quote from one abductee making a new helmet, “I felt telepathic resistance when making the helmet, sharp pains were felt, I pulled the helmet over the head and it stopped. I think I am being watched on what I am doing, I suppose you must warn other abductees when making the hats.”

I don’t know whether to compliment this guy on the brilliance of his satire or suggest that somebody squirt Lithium down his throat with a turkey baster.

So the first game of Death is Not an Option (given the choice of a pair of people, you have to decide which one you’d sleep with; choosing death instead is not an option) was highly amusing, and amongst the comments was this one by LimeyFish:

Death should totally be an option. You could pick between Death from Discworld or Death from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey, or between either of the aforementioned Deaths and Death from The Seventh Seal, or any of the aforementioned Deaths and the Death from the Endless pantheon, or between any of the aforementioned Deaths and Cake.

Okay, smartypants. Challenge accepted.

The Pale Dudes in Hoods Matchup
Death from The Seventh Seal	vs.	Death from Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey

The Twilight Zone Matchup
Death from “One for the Angels”	vs.	Death from “Nothing in the Dark”

The Reapers on Vacation Matchup
Death from Death Takes a Holiday	vs.	Death from Meet Joe Black

The Animated Matchup
Death from Family Guy	vs.	Death from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

The TV Psychopomp (Female) Matchup
George from Dead Like Me	vs.	Tessa from Supernatural

The TV Psychopomp (Male) Matchup
The Angel of Death from Charmed	vs.	Sam from Reaper

The Overly Efficient Bureaucrat Matchup
Messenger 7013 from Here Comes Mr. Jordan	vs.	The Escort from Heaven Can Wait

The Entirely Too Many Teeth Matchup
Death from Discworld	vs.	Death from Hellboy

The Goddess Matchup
Death from Gaiman’s “Endless” Pantheon	vs.	Kali

Leave your choices in the comments (feel free to expand on why you made each choice). And remember…anything except Death is not an option.

ZOMBIES, RUN! – Smartphone exercise app which takes the form of a game in which you try to collect supplies and rebuild civilization whilst hordes of shuffling zombies close in behind you. Run faster!

Begging for Candy – Little one-panel cartoons by PumpkinRot, depicting two ne’er-do-wells on Halloween.

13 Most Mournful Cemetery, Funeral and Death Links – A roundup.

Garbage Pail Kids – New book detailing the subversive trading-card collection from the 80s. Man, I’d forgotten how violent some of these things were. (There are also two books about the “Wacky Packages” stickers from the same manufacturer.)

True Adventures in Better Homes – Splendid collages which mash up men’s and women’s magazines from the 1950s. (As one commenter over at BoingBoing noted, this would be much better without the artist’s statement.)

Karine Jollet – Fiber artist who makes amazing sculptured textiles, many with anatomical themes.

Coffin Case – Purveyors of coffin-shaped guitar cases and similar items.

Amen – I love this quote The Bloggess pinned.

Creepy Girl – Great Calavera doll (with glow-in-the-dark skeleton) made from a modified Monster High doll. (Hat tip to Empress Pam)

Hobbit 419 – Y’know, the dwarves’ pitch to Bilbo really does sound a lot like a Nigeria scam.

One of the things that always astounds me about molded leather is how much detail it’s possible to achieve. deviantART member GriffinLeather uses this to great effect in his wonderful line of skull clutch purses, managing a high degree of anatomical fidelity.

His profile says that he sells these (and will do custom work if he’s sold out), although I have no idea what the price would be. There’s contact information on his bio page if you don’t think you can live without one. (Incidentally, a googling of “Griffin Leather” turns up a couple of sites such as Griffin Leather Works, but they don’t appear to be associated with this guy.)

He’s also got some other nice stuff, including several steampunky gas masks and these great-looking “lost souls” bracers, which would be fantastic for cosplay.

(via The Gothic Tea Society)