The Second Coming

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand;
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.

The darkness drops again but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

— WB Yeats

This is a great way to use up partial packages of dried fruit that you may have sitting around from other baking projects.

Fruitcake Cookies
(Adapted from Bon Appetit)

6 C mixed dried fruit (currants, chopped dates, raisins, diced figs, halved cherries, cranberries, citron, candied orange peel, etc. etc.)
6 T bourbon, divided
6 T sherry, divided
1 C coarsely chopped walnuts
2 C all-purpose flour, divided
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp freshly grated nutmeg
1/4 tsp ground ginger
1/4 tsp ground cloves
1 C sugar
1/2 C (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
2 large eggs

Toss dried fruit in large bowl. Mix in 4 T each bourbon and sherry. Cover; soak at least 2 and up to 24 hours.

Position rack in center of oven; preheat to 325°F. Line baking sheets with parchment paper (cookies are moist and will stick).

Stir walnuts, then 1 C flour into fruit mixture, coating evenly. Whisk remaining 1 C flour, baking powder, salt, and spices in medium bowl.

Beat sugar and butter in another large bowl until smooth. Beat in eggs, 1 at a time. Beat in dry ingredients, then remaining 2 T each bourbon and sherry. Fold in fruit mixture. Drop batter by heaping tablespoons onto baking sheets.

Bake cookies until light brown, turning halfway through baking, about 23 minutes. Cool.

These are great as-is, but for extra decadence they can be glazed:

1 cup (packed) powdered sugar
4 tsp (approx) bourbon
4 tsp (approx) sherry

Stir together sugar and 4 tsp each bourbon and sherry until the mixture is free of lumps. If necessary, thin the glaze further by adding additional liquor in 1/2-tsp increments. Spoon glaze over cookies. Let sit at least 2 hours until glaze is set.

Cookies keep airtight for 1 week.

Póstumo – Kickstarter for zombie-inspired “deck of the dead” playing cards, dice, and other goodies. Fantastic artwork.

Monster Monster – Knitting instructions for a creepy devil (technically “Bok” from Doctor Who) balaclava.

The Five Creepiest Towns in America – I don’t know about “creepiest,” but these would all be picturesque tour destinations if you’re planning a vacation.

Starrlight Jewelry – Pretty goth jewelry. I particularly like the bat armlet.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal – I will never, ever look at Pac-Man the same way again.

Carved Mushroom Skulls – Cute way to add a macabre touch to a meal.

Conga Bats – Neatly-organized line of bats for the OCD amongst us.

Monster Matryoshka – Cutely monstrous nesting dolls. There’s a zombie version too.

How to Make a Dolce & Gabbana Blazer – Video on adding trim to a purchased blazer. This would be useful for adding lace and other dark bits to a mundane article of clothing.

Forever and Always T-shirt – Shirt which looks like the wearer is being glommed by ghostly hands. (Hat tip to Sisifo)

The Hairpin has instructions for making “albino spiders” out of deviled eggs that I think I’m going to put in the category of Trying Too Hard. I’m actually much more on board with the “usual” olive spider-decorated eggs that they dismiss as too pedestrian, since they’re easier to make and are more eye-catching. I think it’d be difficult to make enough of the larger eggs for a party. (I especially wonder about the “make 36 or so and leave them around the house in unexpected places.” Wut?)

If I were to tackle the “albino” version I’d make a few changes:

• Cut and fill the eggs before any other assembly.
• Consider quail eggs instead of cocktail onions for the heads. Alternately, forget the separate head altogether and add the eyes to the front of the larger egg.
• Definitely use something besides bits of raw button mushroom for the legs, since nobody really wants to nibble on those; something like thin strips of ham or cheese might work better.
• Instead of a plain boiled egg, possibly use tea eggs instead, since the marbled pattern would add interest.
• Add the paprika hourglass last, after all other assembly is complete.
• Since these things really aren’t at all portable, don’t attempt to make them part of a buffet. Instead, arrange one on each guest’s plate as part of an appetizer.

The time for Halloween parties may be past, but there are plenty of other holiday dinner opportunities coming up. These spiders might be just the thing for a bit of elegant spookiness.

I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
— mikeleffingwell

Business Plan:
1. Make a “FREE HUGS!” sign.
2. During the hug, whisper, “But it’s $50 to let go.”
3. Gently press a knife into their side.
— rolldiggity

This Halloween, I’m going to scare everyone I know by texting them “We need to talk.”
— hipstermermaid

People passing out Bibles on campus today.
Took one, acted all flustered that someone had recognized me, signed the inside cover and handed it back with a handshake and said, “Always nice to meet a fan.”
Now it’s worth more.
— leonsbuddydave

Alarm clocks should come with sounds like “tiny doll feet scampering into the closet” because I AM NOT HITTING SNOOZE WHEN I HEAR THAT.
— vladchoc

So when I do go to yeshiva, I’m going to be there for about six months to a year and I’m hoping that I’ll be able to take a few days off during certain periods to travel to Prague, Rome, Budapest, et cetera. Is there anything that you’d like me to get you (that isn’t a golem)?
I want you to get a solid grasp of Aramaic and use it to film a sequel to the Passion in which Jesus returns to earth, builds an army, marches across the United States, knocks on Mel Gibson’s door and is like, “Not cool, dude.”
— Burgeoning Lads of Science

A spooky story that ends, “…and from that night to this, the radio of that black ’82 Camaro would never play anything…but Danzig.”
— KenJennings

If you’re about to be turned into stone by Medusa, strike a hilarious pose and at least lighten things up for the next guy.
— badbanana

Next time a stranger talks to me when I’m alone I’ll look at them shocked and just whisper quietly, “You can see me?”
— homoisa

It says something about my life that it’s a lot easier for me to remember how to spell “Cthulhu” than “Massachusetts.”
— loresjoberg

(No prizes, but if you can answer them all without googling you get bragging rights.)

1. In Halloween: Resurrection which rap star played a character who battled Michael Myers?
   A) P. Diddy
   B) Busta Rhymes
   C) Eminem
   D) Snoop Dogg
   E) Ice Cube
2. What was the name of the madman who Dracula exploited as a servant?
3. The “Mothman” cryptid was allegedly first spotted in 1966 in which U.S. state?
   A) Michigan
   B) North Dakota
   C) West Virginia
   D) Florida
   E) New Mexico
4. Harry Potter’s resident werewolf Remus Lupin is named after one of the twins who were suckled by a she-wolf and later went on to found Rome. What was the name of the other twin?
5. The ghost of what First Lady is said to haunt the second floor and the East Room of the White House?
   A) Dolley Madison
   B) Mary Todd Lincoln
   C) Sarah Polk
   D) Martha Washington
   E) Abigail Adams
6. What was the name of the giant rabbit who plagued Donnie Darko?
7. Doctor Who villains the Weeping Angels have the appearance of mourning statues until you look away. In what episode did they make their first appearance?
   A) The Time of Angels
   B) Flesh and Stone
   C) The God Complex
   D) Blink
   E) The Angels Take Manhattan
8. The Resident Evil series of video games takes place in what city?
9. Andrew Eldritch took his band’s name The Sisters of Mercy from a song by whom?
   A) Judy Collins
   B) James Taylor
   C) Trini Lopez
   D) Joni Mitchell
   E) Leonard Cohen
10. In order for his plan to work, John Doe (Kevin Spacey) had to be killed for committing what Deadly Sin in Se7en?

(Answers below the fold)

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Man, I’d forgotten how many episodes of the Muppets featured spooky celebrities. (There’s a bit of documentary lead-in; the actual episode starts at 1:01.)

The Listeners

“Is there anybody there?” said the Traveller,
Knocking on the moonlit door;
And his horse in the silence champed the grass
Of the forest’s ferny floor;
And a bird flew up out of the turret,
Above the Traveller’s head:
And he smote upon the door again a second time;
“Is there anybody there?” he said.
But no one descended to the Traveller;
No head from the leaf-fringed sill
Leaned over and looked into his grey eyes,
Where he stood perplexed and still.
But only a host of phantom listeners
That dwelt in the lone house then
Stood listening in the quiet of the moonlight
To that voice from the world of men:
Stood thronging the faint moonbeams on the dark stair,
That goes down to the empty hall,
Hearkening in an air stirred and shaken
By the lonely Traveller’s call.
And he felt in his heart their strangeness,
Their stillness answering his cry,
While his horse moved, cropping the dark turf,
‘Neath the starred and leafy sky;
For he suddenly smote on the door, even
Louder, and lifted his head:–
“Tell them I came, and no one answered,
That I kept my word,” he said.
Never the least stir made the listeners,
Though every word he spake
Fell echoing through the shadowiness of the still house
From the one man left awake:
Ay, they heard his foot upon the stirrup,
And the sound of iron on stone,
And how the silence surged softly backward,
When the plunging hoofs were gone.

— Walter de la Mare

A friend refers to these as “crack cookies;” not because they’re cracked, but because that’s what they’re as addictive as. The recipe scales up easily and they freeze well, so you can make a large batch and save some for later.

No-Bake Cookie Balls

1/2 C (1 stick) butter
1/2 C sugar
1/2 lb dates*, pitted and cut into small pieces
2 C puffed rice cereal, such as Rice Krispies
1/4 C chopped pecans (toast for a few minutes in a dry skillet if desired)
2 C sweetened shredded coconut

*The kind I usually use are the Deglet Nour variety (often just sold as “California dates”), but other types like Medjool should be fine as long as they’re dry-ish. You can sometimes find pre-diced dates too; those work fine and save time but they’re usually coated in sugar so reduce the sugar in the recipe by a Tbsp or so.

Place butter, sugar, and dates in a saucepan and stir over low heat until the dates sort of dissolve and the mixture looks fairly homogenous. Stir in cereal and pecans. Remove from heat, then shape into balls (for single-bite cookies, use about a tablespoon, but you can make them golf ball-sized if you want). I like to wear disposable latex gloves for this, since handling the hot mixture can be uncomfortable if you’re making a lot of them.

Whilst still warm, roll the balls in coconut until covered; if they start to cool off, pop them in the microwave for a few seconds. Serve warm or place on waxed paper to cool (they can be re-warmed in a microwave later if desired).

These keep in an airtight container for about a week (they rarely last that long). For longer storage, freeze on a cookie sheet until frozen and then put in an airtight container; they’ll last at least six months in the freezer. Take out as many as you want and microwave for 5-10 seconds to reheat.

The Vintage Doctor – Great-looking corsets, dresses, and other items made with unusual fabrics. (Hat tip to Kaitlin Michelle)

Vampire Fang Manicure – The page is in Thai, but the photos are clear enough to figure out what to do.

Seven Psychocats – (NSFW) Surprisingly faithful parody of the Seven Psychopaths trailer. The mere fact that Christopher Walken’s voice is coming out of a hairless cat should be enough to sell this.

Aquaman Strikes Back – Amusing graphic. (Hat tip to Sisifo)

Krampus: The Yule Lord – This looks like our kind of Christmas story. There’s an excerpt and some artwork here.

I am so Goth, I was Born Black – Interesting look at racism and the goth culture. (NSFW due to bewbs.)

Pumpkin Cinnamon Rolls – These are easy to make and entirely yummy. (The whole Smitten Kitchen recipe archive is worth a look, too.)

Ticket to Hell – Vintage ticket for a Coney Island Bowery amusement called “Darkness and Dawn.” Something like this would be a fantastic party invitation.

Dracula Orchid – There’s a whole genus of orchids that I’m suddenly going to have to explore further, including Dracula vampira.

TwinkleBalls – Ridiculously cute handmade cake toppers, including many spooky ones.